Vivien in Conversation with Maetreyii Ma Nola – Melt Back into Infinite Love and Bliss

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Maetreyii Ma Nolan

Vivien: Hello and welcome to The Schapera Show where Viv and Neil explore this big adventure called Life. Our guest today is Maetreyii Ma Nolan, an award-winning author, psychologist, and spiritual teacher who has developed a worldwide following, bringing forth the deep wisdom that manifests to her both through her inner guide, Baba, and in her guru, the renowned Indian mystic Shrii Shrii Anandamurti, Baba.

Hi Maetreyii, thank you for coming on our show today.

Maetreyii: Hello Vivien, thank you for having me!

Vivien: So, Maetreyii, in a nutshell, in addition to being a psychologist, you are also a mystic, and you have written a book. Also, in a nutshell, can you tell us what your book is about?

Maetreyii: Yes! My book is there to help people. We live in a material culture so our mystical experiences are kept hidden. We have to come out of the closet with our spiritual experiences, we need to believe in ourselves and believe in our own experiences. Mystical experiences seem different and can be hard to accept so we hide them.



My book is called Heart of the Infinite: A Spiritual Memoir of an Extraordinary Mystical Journey.

It is the story of my personal transformation, and of course words like “remarkable” are insufficient for expressing the state of ecstatic love and spiritual bliss that I experienced, even while staying integrated in the practical everyday world – but I’ve tried my best to get this down in writing to inspire others who desire such an evolutionary journey.


Vivien: Yes, we must try to write it down, mustn’t we! Can you tell me, what does your name mean?

Maetreyii: Indeed! Maetreyii – means “spiritual friend’ in Sanskrit.

Vivien: And I have another question. I’ve always wanted to ask someone this – what does “Baba” mean?

Maetreyii: “Baba: is used to address a male spiritual teacher – it means “respected teacher.” Its most esoteric meaning is “divine beloved”

Vivien: Thank you! For me, coming from South Africa “Baba” means “baby” so it has been an emotionally confusing terminology.

Maetreyii: Well, the vibration of that name is fascinating – in Eastern Europe “bubbe’ means granny. The same sound, with the b’s and the vowels are used in several intimate relationship meanings, denoting personalized affection.

Vivien: Yes, my ancestors are from Eastern Europe, and growing up, I called my grandmother “Bobbe.” I’m familiar with that too. So, Maetreyii, what’s the bottom line here for you?

Maetreyii: The divine is guiding us. When you’ve had a deep experience, it is natural to want to share it. But we live in a culture where you can only tell your closest friend that a being showed up in your room.

Vivien: Now there’s another question that I have been wanting to ask a suitably qualified person for the longest time!!! How can you tell the difference between psychotic delusions and hallucinations, and mystical experiences?

Maetreyii: Yeah, that’s a very, very important distinction: Psychotic people vs mystical experiences. I have dealt with this a lot.

The differential diagnosis about whether an experience is mystical or psychotic is a very gray area, scary, hard to define. And that’s why its fearful for people. Even incredible experiences of bliss are fearful for people because they are so different from our regular reality.

When the experiences include love, that is different.

Psychotic delusions are grandiose, paranoid, — it’s a different frequency. One is lower, one is higher. When the mind is disjointed, anger and fear take over, whereas the mystical experience is full of love and compassion and the unitary wholeness of life.

But we must remember that there can be a blur, and that blur can be scary. I was certainly afraid and wondering if I had gone crazy. Fortunately, the divine supports people, keeps them out of mental hospitals.

One has to have a strong enough ego structure to maintain. If you become fragmented when you go out into the higher dimensions you may not be able to handle it, or express it well.

There is a deconstruction that happens in the mystical realm during the transformation process. Your life can fall apart. Difficult things happen and then there is a reconstruction at the other side – at a new vibrational frequency.

Vivien: Thank you, Maetreyii, that’s very helpful – for me, and I’m sure others have been wondering about this too. Can you tell us how these mystical experiences all began for you?

Maetreyii: Yes, I was an unusual child, to begin with; living on a farm, I sensed the living energy of trees and animals and began to understand the oneness of all innately.

Vivien: Ooh, really, from what age?

Maetreyii: That’s hard to say, definitely since very young. I remember feeling the healing energy from the trees from age 8 – 10, but had the connection from very young. I would hug trees and feel the energy come out of the trees, and any distress would float away because of the calm that came out of the trees.

I have a strong empathic tendency. I’ve always had cats and animals. I feel “connected.”

At eight or nine, I began to grasp my spiritual relationship with the world through an inner vision of an unknown destiny.

Then, a mysterious Divine Presence came to me, altering my life.

Vivien: That sounds fascinating, Maetreyii. What happened?

Maetreyii: I was probably about 11 – 13, and when I felt stress and stuff going on in my life, I would feel this divine, soothing, calming presence come next to me. There was no name. I was in love with this presence. I could see a whitish figure sometimes. I would go for walks with this being. I wished that it could have been physical. It was subtle, but it was there with me. Then I extraverted and began to forget about it, but before that, I had some deep and profound experiences with that presence.

Then one day, the presence came to me again, in meditation, and called himself Baba.

Vivien: Is this the same “Baba” that you later met in person?

Maetreyii: Yes, that’s right, one and the same. Baba has loved and guided me throughout my life. He is the all-knowing spiritual consciousness that embodies divine love and speaks to and, in recent years, through me.

And while I met and lived in the ashram of the living Shrii Shrii Anandamurti Baba in India for eight months before he passed from this earth, the immortal spiritual consciousness he embodied has been side-by-side with me since my college years—long before I met him and after!

Vivien: Maetreyii, that sounds amazing. But tell us more about the intervening years as well. I’m so fascinated by the journey we each take as we travel the path of destiny.




Maetreyii: Yes, that’s right. I did follow a seeker’s path. Of course, I joined the Beatnik movement and continued on to become a hippie, eventually finding my way to LSD—which provided me with a profound consciousness-expanding experience of divine love and universal oneness. Through many unexpected mystical footsteps, seemingly orchestrated by an unseen hand, I found myself on the precipice of a new threshold of consciousness.

Then, through intense meditation, I sought to naturally return to the state of divine love that I had experienced before, yet wavering between worlds, I admit, I was fearful…

Vivien: Yes, we have to remember this stuff isn’t straightforward and easy. People think they want these experiences, but all journeys require risk-taking as well as challenges to surmount. Looking back, it may appear like plain sailing, but there are always lots of storms. May I ask, what kind of meditation?

Maetreyii: I took initiation in an Eastern tradition. Classical yoga mantra meditation – that’s how I began and at that time I was doing Eastern meditative practice. In that, it was the divine presence that really came — the divine consciousness showed up.

Vivien: I wonder if we can take a moment to talk about meditation. For me, meditation is another topic that covers big variations, isn’t it? What is your definition of meditation?

Maetreyii: Yes, I agree. The big mistake is that people think that in meditation you have to totally quiet your mind. That’s not it. In meditation, you are giving yourself an opportunity for your thoughts to become quieter and as the thoughts slow down, the content alters, and then the direct “experience” comes in.

Meditation is technically defined as changes in brain wave activity.

  • Concentration
  • Meditation
  • Absorption

Here’s the “big problem:” people trying to acquire something via meditation. As though one is buying a new car. Meditation doesn’t work like that – you have to let go. Let God. Allow the divine to be there. You can’t control or contain, and do it by your own will. Surrender to the infinite.

Vivien: Thank you, that’s very helpful! Maetreyii, can you tell us more about Baba and the experience of him coming to you?

Maetreyii: Yes, it was then that Baba came to me to comfort me, shower me with love, and support me. The mysterious voice I heard during my meditations was distinctly male and unbelievably kind…Every word he spoke was a droplet of pure love. He was all… I had ever searched for. He was the personified form of the Universal Love I thought I had lost.”

But I did not withdraw entirely from the world to deepen my connection. Throughout the many years that Baba gently guided me —including to the living guru in India and again home— I was married, had children, earned a PhD, became a clinical psychologist, and was engaged in a spiritual community in California.

Vivien: So, you work as a clinical psychologist, is that right?

Maetreyii: Yes, I have a private practice and work as a clinical psychologist. I work with a lot of people with deep spiritual connections – I don’t just do talk therapy. I help people with inner work. My own style, based on Asageal’s work in psychosynthesis – uses guided imagery and personality theories and Gestalt work (Fritz Perl) My real deeper work is working with spirituality, including through yogic work.

Vivien: Maetreyii, thank you. This is a very meaningful conversation and I’m sure many people will want to know how to get hold of both you and your book – please can you share that information?

Maetreyii: My book is called Heart of the Infinite: A Spiritual Memoir of an Extraordinary Mystical Journey, and I have a website:

Vivien: Yes! I took a look at your website and felt instantly soothed and uplifted. The images you have chosen are wondrous, and your personal vibration was palpable even on the internet. Fantastic!

We’re going to take a break now, and when we come back, we shall continue our wonderful conversation with Maetreyii Ma Nolan, Psychologist and Mystic.

Commercial Break

Vivien: Hello and welcome back to The Schapera Show, where Vivien and Neil explore this big adventure called Life. Today we are talking to Maetreyii Ma Nolan, author of Heart of the Infinite: A Spiritual Memoir of an Extraordinary Mystical Journey, who is also a Clinical Psychologist and Mystic. So, Maetreyii, I have to admit that you seem to have had an exciting life and that you have an exciting story to tell – which is an interesting paradox, because I’m getting excited about “calming, soothing and uplifting!”

Maetreyii: Yes, thank you, I have to agree that I do have an interesting life, and of course that’s why I wrote my book. I think it’s important for people to see the work of a western woman mystic rather than being Indian focused. It’s important for people to realize that those connections to the divine are here for all of us now – the godself.

Vivien: I couldn’t agree more! We all have access, no matter our culture or religion, not the least of which is through the collective unconscious. I’ve had people accusing me of appropriating “stuff” from other cultures, that I personally downloaded via my own spiritual guidance. It’s annoying – nobody has ownership of spirituality and there is actually an onus on us to share. It’s why we incarnated again.

Maetreyii: Yes, exactly. Most people have mystical experiences at least once or twice in their lives, but it can be more. People need to know that they can also connect. My book, Heart of the Infinite: A Spiritual Memoir of an Extraordinary Mystical Journey, helps people to deepen their consciousness as they read. I am pleased to say that I have received very nice feedback in this regard.

Vivien: Yes, I saw some of the feedback on your website – really nice feedback – congratulations on that, it was heartwarming to read what your audience says. I wonder if we can talk a bit about how you managed the step from recipient to teacher, because that’s usually a high-drama dynamic.

Maetreyii: Indeed! There was still a divide between the states of bliss and ecstasy that I experienced in Baba’s physical and metaphysical presence and the world I lived in. This rupture came to a head when Baba began calling me to carry on his teachings to the world after his death. I did not feel worthy, and so I resisted, turning to my “real world.”

Although I “started” in my early twenties, it was a development over time. Twenty years later I went to India for Baba’s ceremony/cremation and my inner Baba began talking to me. He was basically indicating that there would be changes. When I was in India I started having some experiences about the school of Shakti. I felt so connected. I went into a deep state of Samadhi and I was lost in this deep state of non-dual consciousness, and then Baba said to me that he was passing the school of Shakti to me and it would take a few years to find form but this would manifest.

I didn’t see any evidence of this. It was too weird for me to accept. I had a job and children and a house and the whole 9 yards and suddenly I’m getting all this guidance to teach but I didn’t see anything on the external level. I freaked out, said “I’m not worthy.” Went through a difficult period and then I accepted it and it began to manifest. I found a way to connect with Baba and this flow would come through. An embodiment for me of the higher self and this flow comes through and the teachings flow, not from my rational mind, but from a deeper level. It confronted me to come out of the closet with my spiritual life and so it was very challenging.

Like everyone, I had doubt, lack of self-esteem and resistance to stepping out of the ordinary.

Vivien: Yeah, that’s exactly it – like everyone, but then finding the inner strength to transcend that. So, may I ask, how has your “flow” of information been received?

Maetreyii: Within the organization of my guru, it became a point of contention. A number of people felt Baba’s presence. And then there were others who felt this couldn’t and shouldn’t exist, creating quite a stir within that community. There was a lot of political reaction. But for those who could feel the spiritual energy and the spiritual wisdom it has been very well received. There are people who feel deeply connected and feel deep respect.

I started a whole community which does still exist.

Vivien: Wow, Maetreyii, I feel so grateful to have had this opportunity to speak to you! I would very much like it if you could tell everyone again how to get hold of both you and your book, and then I have another very special request.

Maetreyii: Maetreyii: My book is called Heart of the Infinite: A Spiritual Memoir of an Extraordinary Mystical Journey, and I have a website:

Vivien: Thanks, Maetreyii. Here’s my special request before we finish – please could you say for us, in your own voice, the beautiful words that you spoke, when you describe Baba and your experience.

Maetreyii: Yes, I will:

When Baba first came to me, each word he said was like a ray of light dropped into my mind, the facet of a perfect jewel of exquisite beauty, infinite compassion, undying love, and perfect justice.  As those facets would shine into me, each word was so exquisite it would stun my mind. 

At other times, this Divine Presence has manifested as a white light pouring into my mind and my body, Bliss and white light transforming every cell of my being. I have found this Presence to be truly holy. In profound moments, when it has come really close to the earth plane, I have been caught in the rapture, as has everyone in the room, all crying in awe of the exquisite, unbearable nature of the Infinite One.

I am in awe in these very special moments when Divine Presence has come so close to the earth plane.  A mere human can barely tolerate to be in the presence of such love. This world is black and white compared to the radiant, exquisite nature of this Divinity that I have come to call my Baba.”



Vivien: Thank you, again, that is truly beautiful! Everyone, you have been listening to our guest, Maetreyii Ma Nolan, author, clinical psychologist and mystic who has shared some profound words with us. We’re going to take a break now, and when we come back, Neil will be giving us his report from the spirit dimension. Please join us.