Spirit Report: How to Resolve and Manage Conflict

Resolve Conflict in a Relaxed Manner

Spirit Report: How to Resolve and Manage Conflict

The purpose of this journey is to travel to the Spirit Realm of the Upper World to request the Spirits that they give me guidance, around the topic of “how to resolve and manage conflict”.

I’m standing on a mountain ledge and I see, as if it’s a rope being lowered to me, my energy beam that I travel alongside to go up to the Upper World.
I see it being lowered and as it touches the ground, there’s like a spark or flash of light, which I haven’t seen before, and I put my hands and my feet around the energy beam, as if I’m climbing a rope, and start pulling and pushing myself up.

As I go higher it becomes easier, until I’m simply floating up alongside the beam. I’m going up and up and again putting out my request to the compassionate Spirit teachers of the Upper World, to please meet me, and help me, and give me guidance on this topic, of how to manage and resolve conflict.

 

 

 

 

Listen to Neils Shamanic Journey on the Schapera Show

 

In the back of my mind the kind of conflict that I’m thinking of is more interpersonal – so conflict between family members, conflict between friends, and conflict interestingly between enemies. So at this point I’m not thinking of groups or countries or nations or societies but more on the individual level.

I come to the wide pink stairway that I’ve encountered a number of times before that’s almost an entryway to the Upper World. What’s interesting on this occasion, is that the steps are all wet – they’re all covered in water ,and my first thought or understanding as I see this, is of them being slippery and tricky or dangerous, so my thought here is of how this topic is a tricky topic, and its easy to slip on.
So I go up the stairs carefully. I stick to one side where there is some sort of support – almost like a marble banister, and I think there’s a message in that too – that when when is trying to deal with this tricky topic of resolving conflict, one needs to have some safety – its a “slippery” topic.
I then see another symbolic image – I’m seeing flames and smoke in front of me, and I know that I have to walk through to get to meet the Spirits. I think a message here is emphasizing that this a topic that one doesn’t necessarily want to get into, and wants to avoid the heat of this topic, the heat of conflict ,the heat of resolving and managing conflict. But one needs to go into it, to go through it to get to the other side of the resistance. I think what they’re saying is that there’s a lot of resistance about engaging in this topic, but it’s not insurmountable or dangerous. It is a reminder that one can very well feel reluctant to consider resolving and managing conflict, so I go through the flames and smoke.

I was expecting to see a setting that I can often see in the Upper World, of the Spirits gathered in a clearing under the trees, but to my surprise, I see a pool. It’s like a sunny day and this is a pool like one might expect outside a hotel. A large pool and see my Spirit Teachers are sort of lounging around the pool. The theme here is of being relaxed, and the message here to me, from this image of the Spirits relaxing by the pool, is everyone who wants to go into this topic of resolving conflict, should do it in a relaxed manner. This is the key emotional approach, which I guess is asking a lot, but it’s what is very constructive – to approach it in a relaxed way, like if one was just hanging out at the pool in a nice sunny day, no pressure, no rush, and the feeling that we’re in it together.

If I have conflict with another person it’s to appreciate that it’s not just my conflict, it’s their conflict as well – we’re both in it together, we’re sharing an experience, and although it seems like there’s antagonism, it will help to understand that it’s a shared experience – and one has something in common with the person we are in conflict with. This applies especially when it comes to enemies – to try and remind oneself that that’s a shared experience – something you both have.

I ask with a family member for example, how can one resolve and manage conflict and they showed me an image of somebody standing on a box like a soapbox – and stepping down from it. I understand that when there is conflict one can feel we are up on one’s own soapbox.
We think that what we think and say and believe, is the most important thing. There is the feeling and conviction of being right in the conflict. One needs to step down if one wants to resolve and manage conflict. Step down from that elevated soapbox position and be willing to let go of ones strongly held beliefs and ideas and attitudes.

They’re also showing two people sitting together ,next to each other at the pool, and they have their feet in the water together. They’re sitting next to each other putting their feet in the water and mutually enjoying the experience of being in the water. So here too is a message of it’s helpful in resolving conflict, if you can be in a situation where you’re both relaxing, like I said earlier, and enjoying something together. There is a shared experience going on at the same time, and the Spirits say that that one of the hallmarks of the difficulty in resolving conflict is parties feeling that they’ve been wronged and that the other person has treated them badly, and that’s such a stumbling block to moving forward.

 

 

A huge issue is moving forward from feeling you’ve been wronged or hurt to going into the resolving interaction, and they say that sometimes not necessarily always, but sometimes there’s room for both parties in the conflict to say they’re sorry, and that that’s really important – hearing somebody say they’re sorry.
That creates a big big opening for moving forward and it takes a lot of letting go of ego, to say you’re sorry.
The problem is when one person, or both, want to be the “winner”. They want to come out on top, above the other person, and they’re telling me that that’s a key part in resolving conflict – to let go of, or transcend needing to feel one is the winner and ones come out on top.
They say that you can never force or insist that somebody else is sorry. but you can take responsibility for your portion of the conflict resolution, by saying you’re sorry ,or you made a mistake, or you misunderstood, or you jumped to a conclusion, and hopefully that will help the other person.

I ask is resolving conflict different with a friend from a family member, and they say that there is one aspect – that is with family members one will feel that there is this connection to the other person that can never be broken because of being family – like somebody is a brother or a sister or a cousin or a parent or a child. Whatever their relationship is, that can never go away ,and so even if there is conflict the relationship as such, can never be completely broken.

There’s a problematic side to that because one might then feel that one doesn’t have to resolve the conflict.
One is less inclined to want to resolve the conflict because you’ll always be for example, brothers, you’ll always be cousins, you’ll always be related even if you never speak to them again.

With friends that’s all you have – the friendship, you don’t have that definition of family member, you you have your friendship, and if that is ruptured, then that’s more likely to be a complete break.
The Spirits say resolving conflict doesn’t have to mean and doesn’t mean that you now become best buddies, have an intensely close loving relationship, it’s just resolving a bad feeling, and the feeling of wanting to cut yourself off from the other person.
So resolving conflict doesn’t necessarily mean you end up back in the same friendship that you might have had. The key thing with successful resolving of conflict is that both parties have to want it.
They say often where there’s an advantage with enemies is that there is some ongoing interaction between the two – like maybe it’s at work, where you see the person regulalry. They are saying that usually for somebody to be an enemy there needs to be a situation that you share, in which you are enemies, and that shared situation is a crucial aspect of being able to resolve conflict with enemies.
You both recognize that you have something in common – this conflict situation, that interferes with say a work interaction.
With enemies that have no mutual situation where they relatively regularly interact with each other, then what might have once been conflict, will eventually just fade away to where you don’t want to have anything to do with a person, and then they’re not even your enemy anymore – they’ve disappeared from your life.
A person needs to in some way, be in one’s life as a family member, or as a friend, or as an enemy – there needs to be some kind of connection between the two of you. Where there’s a total disconnect, then it’s almost like the conflict disappears – it’s like they’ve disappeared.
The Spirits remind me of previous journey about compassion, and they say that’s an important thing to try and bring to resolving conflict, to have compassion for yourself, and to have compassion for the other person. To recognize that they’re in the same boat as you, and like came up in the previous journey, recognizing that one’s own individual peace of mind and Spiritual development is enhanced by being compassionate. To understand that one is not just being compassionate for the other person’s sake, but for your own sake, and if one can resolve a conflict, one feels better, so there’s a selfish aspect to wanting to resolve conflict.
With that the drums have changed, to let me know that the journey is finished, and I can return to the middle World.

I thank the Spirits and they’re still sitting at the pool it’s certainly a very peculiar setting for a Shamanic Journey. They’re raising their drinks to say goodbye.

I return back to the steps and they’re still damp with water so I hold on carefully, going down the steps and find my energy beam, and descend back to the Middle World, going down and down and down back to the mountain ledge,

I see the energy beam being pulled back up towards the Upper World and I thank the Spirits for this extremely interesting journey which I’ll certainly contemplate. Thank you Spirits, the journey is over.